The Ant Story

Every day, a small ant arrives at work very early and starts work immediately.

She produces a lot and she was happy.

The chief, a lion, was surprised to see that the ant was working without supervision.

He thought if the ant can produce so much without supervision, wouldn’t she produce even more if she had a supervisor!

So he recruited a cockroach who had extensive experience as supervisor and who was famous for writing excellent reports.

The cockroach’s first decision was to set up a clocking in attendance system. He also needed a secretary to help him write and type his reports and …he recruited a spider, who managed the archives and monitored all phone calls.

Did You Read The Fine Prints?

From an editorial in the university of Kentucky student newspaper: “Recent reports have said that a number of graduates cannot even read or right.”

From an AD in the Friendswood-Pearland, Texas, News: “Housepeeper needed for a couple.”

From a Report in the Athens, Greece, Daily Post: “The rains ended yesterday afternoon, and swollen Greeks and streams began to shrink.”

In the staff parking spaces alongside the Downtown Baptist Church in Alexandria, Va., a sign warns: “Church Parking Only. Violators Will Be Baptized.”

Advertisement in a newspaper: “Organ lessons. We guarantee you will pay in 10 weeks.”

Where's The Gold?

A member of the Inca tribe finds gold.

The Spanish capture him and they say through an interpreter, "If he doesn't tell us where the gold is, we are going to burn both his feet at the stakes."

He answers through the interpreter, "I'd rather die than tell them where the gold is."

The Spanish takes the guy out and burns his feet off. Now they say to the interpreter, "Tell him if he doesn't tell us where the gold is, we are going to hang him on a noose out there."

Laugh A Little

A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: “If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?”
The winning reply was: “The one nearest the exit.”

***

An 11-year old boy holidaying in Switzerland wrote the following to his mother in London: “Yesterday the instructor took eight of us to the slopes to teach us skiing. I was not very good at it, and so I broke a leg. Thank goodness it wasn’t one of mine.

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Sign of the Times!

1) Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!

2) Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.

3) Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!

4) An ad for a Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets.

5) When the restaurant next to the Church put out a big sign that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."

6) Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one!

7) Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!

8) Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.

9) Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.

10) If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.