Little Johnny spent his first day in school.
"What happened?" he was asked by his mother on his return home.
"Nothing much. A lady wanted to know how to spell a cat, so I told her."
***
Mother: "Miley, your hair is all mussed up. Did that young man kiss you against your will?"
Miley: "He thinks he did, Mother."
***
Girl: "I think this scenery is just beautiful!"
Guy: "I dunno. Take away the mountains and the lake and it looks like any place else."
***
"My wife has the worst memory I ever heard of."
"Forgets everything, eh?"
"No... remembers everything!"
***
The Female Mind - "Darling, will you lend me 20 dollars, and only give me 10 of them? Then you'll owe me ten and I'll owe you ten... and we'll be even.."
***
Two men, Peter and John, were discussing their wives.
"You know," said Peter, "my wife tells me that almost every night she dreams she's married to a millionaire."
"You're lucky," replied John. "Mine thinks that in the daytime."
***
Man: (To his boss) "Sir, my wife said I should ask you for a raise."
Boss: "Fine! I'll ask my wife if I can give you one!"
***
"That young wife certainly worships her husband! She places burnt offerings before him everyday!"
***
