2. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
3. You can open all your own jars.
4. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
5. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
6. You don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
7. You can leave the motel bed unmade.
8. You can kill your own food.
9. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
10. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
11. Your underwear is 10$ for a three-pack.
12. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
13. Everything on your face stays its original color.
14. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
15. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
16. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
17. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
18. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
19. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
20. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
21. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
22. You pals can be trusted never to trap you with, "So, notice anything different?"
23. You almost never have strap problems in public.
24. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
25. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
26. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
27. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
28. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife
29. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
30. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
