Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
(No, really?)
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
(That'll stop 'em.)
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
(What a guy!)
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
(No-good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!)
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
(See if that works any better than a fair trial!)
War Dims Hope for Peace
(I can see where it might have that effect!)
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
(You think?)
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
(Who would have thought!)
(You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?)
(No, really?)
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
(That'll stop 'em.)
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
(What a guy!)
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
(No-good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!)
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
(See if that works any better than a fair trial!)
War Dims Hope for Peace
(I can see where it might have that effect!)
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
(You think?)
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
(Who would have thought!)
(You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?)
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
(Weren't they fat enough?!)
(Weren't they fat enough?!)
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
(That's what he gets for eating those beans!)
(That's what he gets for eating those beans!)
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
(Taste like chicken?)
Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
(Chainsaw Massacre all over again!)
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
(Boy, are they tall!)
(Taste like chicken?)
Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
(Chainsaw Massacre all over again!)
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
(Boy, are they tall!)
And the best headline ever...
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
(DUH!)
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
(DUH!)
