Sunday, May 25, 2008

Legal Interrogation

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

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Q: What gear were you in at the moment of
the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

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Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of
something that you've forgotten?

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Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

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Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to
school for it.

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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how
old is he?

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Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

***
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

***

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

***

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

***

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

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Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

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Q: Can you describe the individual
A: He was about medium height and had a beard
Q: Was this a male, or a female

***

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant
to a deposition notice, which I sent to your
attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

***

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed
on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead
people.

***

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the
body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why
I was doing an autopsy.

***

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy,did
you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient
was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in
a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive
nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
alive and practicing law somewhere.

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