The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all background checks, interviews and testing were over, there were three candidates on the short list....two men and a woman.
For their final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow orders, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. KILL HER!!"
The man said, "You cannot be serious, I could never kill my wife". The agent said, "Then you are not the right man for the job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He entered the room. All was quiet for five minutes and then he came out with tears in his eyes and said, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife". The agent said, "You don't have what it takes, take your wife and go home".
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard one after the other. They heard screaming, crashing and banging on the walls. After a few minutes all was quiet.
The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair".
***
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
***
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
***
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.... "HEBREWS".
